Longer Erection... Are you normal?
Now I know that sex is not the only thing in a relationship but for me it was huge, so I agreed (gulp) to go and see a therapist with my partner Jill.
So here is how the conversation went... (more or less)
Me: Well, I don't ejaculate before sex, but I only last a minute or two.
Therapist: When you ejaculate early, how do you feel, how do you react?
Me: I get very angry and frustrated with my self an keep on apologising to Jill
Jill: Yes, he gets so upset that he completely ruins the mood. Then I get upset. It's getting to the point that I don't want to make love because we both get so upset. He makes me upset because he is upset. I tell him it doesn't matter, but he doesn't listen.
Therapist: What have you done to try to control it?
Me: I've tried focusing on work stuff or counting, it doesn't work.
Jill: Also, he won't let me touch him because he's afraid he'll ejaculate. I just lay there. I don't know what to do anymore. It's awful. I sometimes cry afterwards.
And so it went...
That therapist did not cure my premature ejaculation but I learnt 3 valuable things:
What is a normal or average erection?
In 1953 researchers found that for 75% of men ejaculation happened in 2 minutes or less with many ejaculating within less than a minute after penetration. This was considered normal for those years. (Kinsey, 1953).
Today, studies show that ejaculation after 3-7 minutes is considered average or normal (Waldinger)
Guess how long it takes on average for a female to orgasm... 10-15 minutes!
What really distresses our partner if we climax early?
Get this... what really makes our partners distressed is not that we came too quickly, but that we are distressed about losing control.
They found that we are more distressed than our partners if we prematurely ejaculate and we overestimate our partners distress and disatisfaction.
What do we really, really want.. and our partners also want for us?
The BIG premature ejaculation cure MYTH!
So we know woman take longer to orgasm then us -
This was until two very smart scientists
The verdict: turns out the length of time they could hold and erection inside her was correlated with orgasm.... NOTforeplay.
So its all about control! Although my partner loves a little foreplay, she loves my harder, stronger erection more when we make love.
Now you, like me, are not too blame for premature ejaculation, if you are like most normal males, its just that you have not been taught how to control your penis reflex reaction.
How to have a longer lasting erection
Okay, I know you are scouring the internet for techniques, here are two easy and quick techniques but grab my free cheatsheets for more. Only my subscribers will get the Bonus report "The little know African technique that makes women have multiple orgasm and ejaculate" when I get my editor to finish proof reading it.
The condom quick-
You probably already know that wearing a condom reduces sensitivity, but to rev this up, use a double strength condom. The best are the extra strength ones from Durex.
The habituate technique
This method is good with a regular partner. Habituate means getting used too, just like when you eat a bowl of chilli, initially it burns, but then you get more and more used to it, the same with when you want to maintain a longer erection inside your partner. Your penis first get accustomed to just being inside her.
Have your partner sit on top of you, with little movement. Your penis will soon get used to the warm moist environment and after about 5-
But what You and I really wanted was .....
This is when you regulate your arousal so you can allow yourself to go through the arousal-
During the ascension phase you are physically and mentally calm, relaxed, while she gets more and more frenzied. Its not that you don't get aroused, that the good part, men who have this level of control are familiar with their physical and mental response and are able to stay there.
This is what I wanted for me and my wife. So I made a small investment in myself and my relationship and got advice from a professional Sex Educator.
Of course, there is alot of free tips and advice out there, some which is downright harmful.
If you are young and just starting out, your sexual encounters are fairly limited. Don't limit them further by getting a low self-
If you have a partner, surprise her, the ultimate compliment is when she teasingly asks you "What happening, are you having an affair?"
I suggest you check out Matt Gordons stuff, as a sex educator he has helped 1000's of men over the last four years. His system is an inexpensive immediate download. He stands by his work and offers a 60 Day Money Back Gaurentee.
No, its not an instant fix, I found out what really works, and then put it into practice. It made alot of sense and gave me back my self-esteem and confidence. A little bit of professional knowledge went a long way, soon you wonder what you were so worried and nervous about in the first place.
I did not tell my partner at first and yes, she asked which women was coaching me ;)
Thankfully the whole transaction is confidential and instantaneous.
Make love exquisitely - to your health.
Alfred Charles Kinsey (June 23, 1894 – August 25, 1956)
M.D. Waldinger Premature ejaculation: Advantages of a new classification for understanding etiology and prevalence rates. Sexologies, Volume 17, Issue 1, Pages 30-
Graziottin, A. and S. Althof (2011). "What Does Premature Ejaculation Mean to the Man, the Woman, and the Couple?". Journal of Sexual Medicine 8: 304.